cleaning

the past few days, i have been looking at the house as i walk through the rooms and noticing the dust, dirty dishes, piles of laundry, etc

so today when sophia went down for her afternoon nap, i went into attack mode

well, i got side-tracked

see, yesterday my wonderful mother-in-law got me uggs :) that i have wanted forever

it is an early birthday + Christmas present

anyway, i needed to bear grease and bake them to weather-proof them

but as i opened the stove to put them in, i realized that the oven was filthy...so i cleaned the oven

then i went on to the top of the oven

then i did the floors (sweep and mop)

then the bathrooms

then i dusted

i still have to vacuum but sophia is thinking of sleeping so i may put that off...we'll see, she likes the sound of it for some reason :)

now i just have about 10,000 loads of laundry to do...i hate folding laundry, but i will get there...time to throw in another load :)

i can sleep easy tonight

favorites

in motherhood, i have found a few things that are my favorites...little things that sophia does, intentionally or unintentially, that make me smile more than anything

here are a few: her squeals when she is on her changing table (for some reason she loves her changing table)

the way she touches me while she nurses, just very gentle and so cute

when she gets tired and is nursing, she smiles, this wide toothless grin with her eyes closed-so so cute

how her left sock always seems to come off, no matter how many times i put it back on her

her happy sounds when she talks to herself in her crib...not when she cries, but when she is happy about it

and my favorite of all, when i got home from work today and said hello to her, she got the biggest smile of all-that's right, she loves me :)

ode to moms

i know it's not mother's day or even parent's day or anything like that

however, it was my mom's birthday this past saturday, the 17th...her 50th birthday

of course that meant presents and cards...and i'm not a good one about short cards when it comes to family/loved ones

so i wrote her a long note...one i really meant too

i wrote it right after i fed sophia and put her to bed

and as i held her in my arms, i started crying...i cry easily and even easier now that i've been pregnant and a mom

i love my little girl, more than i can express

even though i've given up a lot, or it feels like i have somedays, it's all worth it for this precious little girl

and as i wrote my mom her birthday note, i realized that i don't think i ever truly appreciated my mom until i became a mom

now i understand a little of what she's done as a mom...she's given up her pre-baby body, 4 times over

she's given up hours upon hours of sleep

she's given up things she wanted because we felt that what we wanted was way more important

i've already cried for sophia for the hurt i know someday she'll go through-kids making fun of her, when she's hurt, when the first boy she likes dumps her or ignores her, when she doesn't feel she did well in school/sports/music/etc.

i can't imagine being my mom and having gone through and still probably going through 4 girls and all their hurt

so to all moms everywhere, kudos for all you do in the name of your kids

you should be honored way more often than you are...thanks for all you do, have done, and will do

spit up

my little girl is not a spitter...usually

she typically takes forever to just burp-sometimes between 10 and 15 minutes in fact

well, today, after she woke up after 10 hours of sleeping :) she ate and then i changed her diaper and her outfit

then i set her up on the couch and started talking to her

and then came the projectile spit up...all over herself, her outfit, me, and the couch

she still seemed happy though

so i changed her out of her cute outfit, bathed her, and then set her back on the couch to talk to her again...and she spit up all over herself again

and started smiling and talking

then came the second outfit change

she didn't spit up much after that...not much

how does she gain weight? it is beyond me

and i would have thought she was sick except for she smiled, talked, cooed, and squawked so loud she couldn't have been unhappy

silly little sophia

3 months!!!

my baby girl has hit the three month mark...where did all this time go???????

you know how everyone tells you, 'it flies by'? well, it does

i mean, on one hand i feel like i just had her, but then on the other hand, i feel like it was ages ago

here are some of the things she is doing now/new

-holding her head up by herself more and more

-grabbing things, her pacifier and my hair are the favorites right now

-actually smiling when it's appropriate and at people

-talking a little...it's better than screaming (and no, no words, just sounds...but they are the cutest sounds i've ever heard)

-sleeping through the night...most nights and she'll wake up sometimes but cries herself back to sleep...nice for us

-finally fitting into 0-3 months clothing :)

-sucking on her first...or at least the thumb side of her first

-moved herself to a 4 hour feeding schedule which makes it nice for me as far as planning and scheduling goes

we love our little girl and love watching as she changes...it's crazy

i'll post some more pictures later...when i get them uploaded :)

the effect of a grandchild

i may have already said this somewhere in a past blog, but my mom is babysitting for us...THANKS MOM!!! she is awesome!!!

it puts me at ease so much knowing that i am dropping off sophia to a trusted and loving person who loves her more than anyone i know (other than john and i :) )

i was dreading it i admit, even though it was with my mom

but i don't even feel like i have to call and check up on them...i do of course but i know i don't have to :)

and let me tell you what, since having sophia, i am starting to see that i think the only reason people have children is so that one day they can have grandchildren...it is true

i've never seen my parents get like this...i didn't know it was possible for them to get even crazier!

sophia will never ever need clothes-believe me! in fact, i'm not sure how she will wear everything she has now...maybe if we change outfits three times a day

then there's the meeting us at the car

man, they barely used to open the door for john and i...now we pull up and someone is waiting outside for us

not kidding, i pulled up to their house one time and my dad was waiting outside, joanna heard us and ran out the front door and my dad says 'jo i was waiting out here for her'

it reminded me of when you're a kid and you want to sit in the front seat and you tell your sibling, 'i was waiting first'

it made john and i laugh so hard

it also makes me realize how much they love me...i mean if they love sophia this much, they must love me and my siblings at least a little bit

and as i hold sophia and get so excited over the little things she does, i can't imagine loving anyone (besides john) more than i love her

needless to say, it has been fun having a little girl and watching the effect she has on her grandparents

i forgot about leila

i was so worried and concerned and feeling major guilt about leaving sophia and going back to work...i made all these arrangements with my mom, we got together to talk about her schedule as far as eating, being awake, and sleeping

i got a diaper bag all ready for mom; got extra tylenol and diaper rash cream for her; wrote out the amounts of medicine she gets, etc, etc

in all my preparations to get things arranged for sophia, i forgot about my other child~leila

the night before i went back to work, i realized that leila would be alone indoors for about 6-7 hours

john and i agreed that she should be ok and i would give her a treat or something bigger before i left before i went to work

so i did that the last two days

yesterday, she was fine-no mess, just excited to see us

today, well that's a different story

the pictures should tell the story...the first picture is what the left one still looks like

the second is what john found on our bed when he got home

all i have to say is, i loved these boots despite the fact that they were a little old and worn

they were the perfect pair to wear when you needed to just go or throw on with an outfit...hand me down boots from my sister and i loved them

i know that people say that dogs have a 30 second memory span or whatever, but i swear when i yelled at her she knew EXACTLY why i was yelling

guess i shouldn't have trusted her, even after 2 years of no accidents :(

we survived!!!

first day of work done and both sophia and i survived!!! thanks to everyone who prayed for us

she had a great day with mom and even took 3 oz from the bottle for her

in talking to john i think that she just won't take the bottle from me...in his words, 'she knows you can give her the real thing'

mom picked her up this morning at about 8:30 after she ate then i went to work at 9

i called at 11:30 and she was doing fine...about to eat

sidenote-pumping outside your house is slightly awkward...even if you are in a locked office

then on my way home to get her, i had a voicemail, so i checked it and it was my mom asking if she was supposed to feed her again or wait for me (at about 3:15ish) and sophia was crying in the background

that made me feel so bad and i sped the whole way to mom's house (well first i had to stop at my house and get the carseat i forgot)

but we both survived...i thought i would cry but i didn't

i did want to call about every hour or so but i didn't let myself...my mom did have a few kids and they turned out decent (or at least semi-normal :) )

so thanks to everyone who prayed for us...we survived...now to do it again tomorrow :)

this will be a week of firsts

i have been both excited and dreading this week for a long time now...this is the week i go back to work

not only am i leaving my baby girl, i am starting a new job

yes, it's part-time but it's away from sophia which is killing me

i am giving myself extra time on wednesday because i am sure i will cry on my way to work

the longest i have been away from her is 5 hours...and i called about every 30 minutes to check on her

but my boss said depending on the day and where i'm at, she can come in for a feeding/lunch :)

i know my mom will do an excellent job with her and have tons of fun, but i feel so guilty

also, i was in a wedding this past weekend, so john watched her and brought her to me in between stuff happening for feedings and such

it was a long day for everyone...john said she knows when i leave and cries

so it will take some adjusting on her part to not having me around 24/7 and on my part to let her go :( but the guilt is bad

another first she had this week was nursery...now she slept through most of it but our pager did not go off in church and make me leave very quickly

it was nice to listen to the full sermon and not worry about her screaming or waking up during pastor larry's crucial point :)

i know that i will live through wednesday, i'm just dreading it horribly

fall=beginning of coldness

i grew up in south carolina, and africa...warm places

i like warm places

in fact, i rarely turn on the air conditioning...i don't like humidity that much but i love being warm or even hot

i've lived in indiana for over 9 years now and i still don't like the cold

sure the first snow is pretty, but that's about it

then they plow it and it turns grey from mixing with dirt, and it's in huge piles and gross looking

then there's the stain of salt on your shoes and the bottom of your pants and in the house

and the million and one layers you have to wear just to walk outside

now i will stop complaining about the cold...some people just aren't meant for it

i always feel for john's dad who wears his long sleeve shirt and moccasins year round (no joke)

i do love the changing of colors for fall but then it just gets colder and colder

i wonder if there's a place that you get to see the changing of the colors and then it goes back to warmness? hmm, maybe i'll try to find that place

on to sophia-she was 11 weeks old yesterday...craziness i tell you

she is really starting to hold her own head up

she is making lots of noises, more than just screeches now (thankfully)

she is almost 12 whole pounds

she is sleeping through the night most nights (she has cried a few times but i have allowed her to cry it out and we've both slept better)

now we are working on moving up her last feeding so that we can both be in bed earlier...tonight she will eat for the last time at 9pm...then hopefully sleep until 5am, her first feeding of the day

she is grabbing things like crazy and really focusing on stuff

she smiles appropriately now (so much fun)

still doesn't poop more than every 4-5 days (kind of nice with cloth diapers though, i won't lie)

she is starting to like baths and tummy time...a little bit

she is doing much better with the bottle, i'm just hoping she'll start to take more at a time...but when she realizes that is the only way when i'm at work, i think she might :)

now that i have rambled a ton, time to go play with my little girl