this will be a week of firsts

i have been both excited and dreading this week for a long time now...this is the week i go back to work

not only am i leaving my baby girl, i am starting a new job

yes, it's part-time but it's away from sophia which is killing me

i am giving myself extra time on wednesday because i am sure i will cry on my way to work

the longest i have been away from her is 5 hours...and i called about every 30 minutes to check on her

but my boss said depending on the day and where i'm at, she can come in for a feeding/lunch :)

i know my mom will do an excellent job with her and have tons of fun, but i feel so guilty

also, i was in a wedding this past weekend, so john watched her and brought her to me in between stuff happening for feedings and such

it was a long day for everyone...john said she knows when i leave and cries

so it will take some adjusting on her part to not having me around 24/7 and on my part to let her go :( but the guilt is bad

another first she had this week was nursery...now she slept through most of it but our pager did not go off in church and make me leave very quickly

it was nice to listen to the full sermon and not worry about her screaming or waking up during pastor larry's crucial point :)

i know that i will live through wednesday, i'm just dreading it horribly